Stacy has one child and has never had a miscarriage.  The conversations that follow each start when I first told her I was pregnant and then when I first told her about the miscarriage.  This is probably the most complete version (via Skype conversation) of what happened and in which order.

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09/03/2010

Stacy: are you pregnant?

Ulla: yep

Stacy: mazeltov!!!!!!

OH MY GOTH!!!!

Stacy: I am so happy for you

Stacy: is it public knowledge yet??

Ulla: not really

Ulla: I’m only barely two months – haven’t gone for the scan yet

Ulla: DON’T MENTION IT ON FACEBOOK PLEASE

Stacy: ok

Stacy: I won’t!!!!

Stacy: you let me know when it’s safe

Ulla: unless graham says something, then use that as a lead

Stacy: lol

Ulla: so? well I’m very happy about it

Stacy: oh come ON

Stacy: i’d BE SHOUING IT FORM THR ROOVES

Ulla: not yet Stace

Stacy: I won’t YET

Stacy: lol

Ulla: you also waited til 3 months before you told me remember

Stacy: no

Ulla: it’s just the safe period

Stacy: I WAS almost 3 months when I found out

Ulla: oh ok lol

Ulla: well i only found out a week ago

Stacy: oh awsome!!!!

Stacy: I am SLIGHTLY jealous

Stacy: but SOOOO happy for you

Ulla: i did NOT expect the result – i tested in the loo at work and i genuinely expected it to be negative – as it always is

Ulla: usually i do a test just to appease my frantic mind when my period is late

Ulla: usually – it’s negative!!

Stacy: planned?

Ulla: no not planned – but we’re very happy about it

Stacy: yay!!!

Ulla: we’d been discussing going ahead next year ‘some time’

Ulla: so the universe decided ‘naa – next year is too late’

Stacy: I am crying tears of JOY!!!!!

Ulla: i haven’t told many friends yet so please hush

Stacy: wow!! huge mazeltov to G too, and his mom

Stacy: Laggies knows now tho

Ulla: cool – you can mail him privately on facebook if you like, but please not on the wall or status reports

Ulla: that’s ok – it’s just that i want to tell people myself – you know it’s nicer that way 🙂

Stacy: of course – thats why I asked

Ulla: i’m not doing the email thing yet

Ulla: too much back and forth detail will result from that and i’m quite busy

Stacy: I had a FEELIN that was your news when I missed your last msg

Ulla: i told my boss yesterday though

Stacy: and?

Stacy: how u feeling??

Ulla: i’ve decided that i will leave the company when i go on maternity leave

Stacy: nauseous much?

Ulla: very tired – although that’s gotten a little better the last two days

Ulla: nauseous yes, but not puking

Stacy: hahahah

Stacy: it GETS worse

Stacy: not the nausea – the fatigue

Ulla: i’ve been VERY tired – knackered

Ulla: and i get out of breath easily and sometimes dizzy

Stacy: and you’ll get MORE tired trust me – your body adjusting to dealing with little or no sleep

Ulla: i don’t sleep so well at night either – VERY thirsty all the time – especially at night

Stacy: you got a FEW months of that to go

Ulla: …gee thanks…

Stacy: and THE thirstiest you will EVER feel in your life is while you breastfeed

Ulla: REALLY MISSING THE COFFEEE!!!!

Stacy: can i give you the Jungle Juice recipe??

Stacy: for preggie & breastfeeding – helps boost & hydrate

Stacy: 1 litre rooibos tea – chilled

Stacy: 1 litre apple juiuce (or another flavour)

Stacy: 1 Fizzy Calcivita tablet IN it

Stacy: 1 Sachet Rehydrat in with it all

Stacy: and a quarter bottle of the Schlehen

Stacy: berry elixer

Ulla: Schlehen?

Stacy: VERY yummy

Ulla: is that a brand?

Ulla: will they have it here?

Stacy: and VERY good for all in pregnancy

Stacy: yes

Stacy:  Schlehens is thebrand

Stacy: product is the berry elixer

Stacy: there is a product for pregnant woman for nausea too – maybe ask your doc about it.. ASIC is it’s name

Stacy: very good & harmless to baba

Ulla: i don’t get nausea that often – about half an hour a few times a day – i can handle it – i just sit still and drink water or eat something and it usually helps

Stacy: aaah – this is such awesome news!!!

Ulla: i am LANK happy about it – much more than I thought i’d be

Ulla: i’m surprised at my reaction actually

Stacy: oh babe

Stacy: it’s THE most wonderful thing in the world……

Ulla: (sun)

Stacy: (flex)(y)

Ulla: if it’s a girl we want to call it Zoe

Ulla: but it’s still early days, all that might change at the last minute – that’s what happened when my sis was born, my mom changed her mind as she was born

Ulla: anyway – I don’t care what other people think about my choices – but G does so i hope he goes with his heart and not what other people say

Stacy: about?? the NAME?? F^& everyone else – its your baba

Stacy: what does grandma think?? and oupa Noel??

Ulla: grandma’s ecstatic! Although i wish my mom was here to experience this with me but anyway.

Ulla: my dad’s chuffed

Ulla: was weird because we found out on a thursday

Ulla: then the very next morning Gs grandad died

Ulla: before we got the chance to tell him he’ll be a great grandad

Stacy: my cuz in Israel was born the day my Gran died

Stacy: hectic

Ulla: then on that weekend his sister got engaged

Ulla: like all seasons in one week lol

Ulla: birth death and marriage

Stacy: yeh all inter-connected though

Stacy: in the grand scheme of things

Ulla: quite cool actually – a realtime experience of the cycle of life

Ulla: (not cool that his grandad died but you know what i mean – he was very old)

Stacy: wow!! I am almost walking on air for you babe

Stacy: (although a TAD jealous)

Stacy: Laggies still wont budge

Ulla: G wants 2

Ulla: i’m like: wait til this one first…

Stacy: Laggies wanted NONE

Stacy: see my dilemma

Stacy: I think I will skype G to congratulate him

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17/03/2010

Ulla: how’s this: a week after telling my boss i’m pregnant – she says she wants to make me redundant… un f-ing believable!

Stacy: ag nee

Ulla: i’m so pissed off

Stacy: isn’t that illegal?

Ulla: she’s trying to save a few months salary

Ulla: and I’m sure it’s so that she can avoid paying smp

Stacy: cow

Ulla: i’m in the process of trying to convince her not to though

Stacy: good

Ulla: the thing is – i said i’d resign as i go on maternity leave anyway

Stacy: listen we are on our way out to dinner

Ulla: so it seems pointless that she’s even trying this

Stacy: Moms bday today

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06/04/2010

Stacy: hows the preggie fairy??

Stacy: sorry faerie

Ulla: not good

Stacy: why?

Ulla: i had a miscarriage on sunday

Stacy: omg

Stacy: I am so sorry

Ulla: yeah me too

Stacy: oh babe

Ulla: such is the cycle of life and death

Stacy: Laggies sends love too

Stacy: yes but you can try again

Stacy: I know its not really any consolation

Ulla: part of me is a tiny bit relieved because planning for it was stressing us out financially

Ulla: yes i know – and we intend to!!

Stacy: it will happen when the time is right

Ulla: we’re thinking that by april next year i’ll have a bump – i want to be about 4 months or just over 3 months

Ulla: and we’ll be in south africa for Jacqui’s wedding on 10 April and maybe just maybe also Dimitra’s wedding if it’s organised by then

Stacy: can’t wait to see you again

Ulla: yeah it’ll be cool to see all old pellies

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